Patient Stories Series #3: The man who prayed in his pain

A few nights ago I had a patient who I took care of after he had a below the knee amputation. He was an elderly man, who came up from surgery at about 8pm.

One of the major difficulties with post-op patients is managing their pain.
 We try our best to keep it under control, because the more severe it gets the more difficult it is to bring down to a manageable level.

He was a sweet man, who didn’t complain of much pain until three hours after he came up. 

I gave him morphine, which knocked him out for a bit, but less than an hour later he was complaining of severe phantom limb pain. 

Phantom limb pain is difficult to treat, and I didn’t have a whole lot of options of what to give him based on what the doctor had ordered, and how quickly his pain came back after the morphine. 

So I gave him an oral pain medication called Norco and an Ativan to help him calm down and sleep, since there wasn’t much more we could do for the pain.

I had noticed earlier that he had a bible on the tray table, held together by a rubber band because the binding was falling apart. 

All I could do was wait for the oral medication to take effect, and he was still moaning in excruciating pain. 
I hate that my job means I see people in awful pain on a daily basis.

I asked him if he had a favorite passage he'd like me to read from his bible.
He said Psalm 23. 

I read from his bible by the light from the cracked door - his bible that I swear was a version more ancient than the King James, if there is such a thing.
As I read, I could see him begin to quietly say the words along with me.

When I was finished, he continued speaking softly.

It took me a few minutes to catch enough words to figure out that he was praying, begging God to get him through the pain.

I only caught some of what he was praying, but at one point I heard him say “and thank you for Betsy.” 

I prayed for him as well, and as I left his room, he was quiet.

So many thoughts tumbled through my head as I left his room and headed to check on my other patients.

How humbling to be brought before God by this man I only knew for one night. 

What a privilege to be the one to care for him in a time of incredible vulnerability and pain.

These are the moments I’m so thankful to God for getting me through nursing school, and providing me with a job that is incredibly stretching and difficult, but immensely rewarding.

Nursing constantly reminds me that I am not enough.

I can’t save anyone physically, emotionally, or spiritually. 

I can’t take away anyone’s pain – but I can point them to the one who can.

It was this man’s faith in the God who is greater than all that brought him comfort in his pain.

May we cry out to Abba for our every need, acknowledging our complete and utter dependence on him. 

Thank you Jesus, that you are more than enough.

On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.

10 on 10: rookie edition

I'm new to this whole 10 on 10 thing.  

Which is why I'm posting on the 11th.  

And had a really hard time coming up with 10 pictures.  

Don't judge me if they're hideously boring.

Woke up to my Sleep app telling me I have a 17.0 hr sleep debt.

Night shift is awesome.  

The breakfast of champions. 

Or night nurses who eat breakfast at all hours of the day.

 I've been eating this practically every day this week thanks to a tremendous amount of leftovers from Cari's Bachelorette Weekend. 

Check out Kim's post here. 

It was a pretty awesome weekend. 

Went to work and spent 8 hours starting IV's with the hospital's IV nurse. 

I'm getting pretty good - didn't even miss one!

But I because of that I have an 8 hr gap in pictures. 

Sorry, but you probably wouldn't want to see them anyways :).

I FINALLY got my diploma in the mail, so I went to HR and got them to add my BSN to my name badge!

 I know, this is an awful picture.  

But if i didn't use it, it would be 9 on 10. 

And that kind of defeats the purpose, right?

I've also been eating ice cream cones practically every day, since Jordan and Cari left them and a half gallon of chocolate malted crunch ice cream (my fav) at my house. 

I've been working on a new map for my friend Samuel. 

Luckily, I had some slave labor - oops, I mean neighbor kids -  to help.

They're pretty cute.

Tavia has them over all the time to make cookies, play volleyball or ride bikes. 

I got this book in the mail the other day, as a surprise from a friend who knows me well. 

And I'm SO excited to read it. 

So I started as a break from my map making. 

Signing up for benefits = I'd rather go to a museum with my dad.

Which, if you know me, isn't something I really enjoy. 

Do I need vision insurance if I have perfect vision?  

Help me out people. 

I'm new to this whole adult job thing.

A whole disc of Friends episodes later - the finished product!  

So excited to get this to Samuel - he picked great colors and I love how it turned out!

linking up here for the first time:

A Crafty Halloween

 There once were two girls. 

They were both studying Pre-Nursing. 

They both lived in an all-girls dorm named Alpha Chi. 

Their ridiculous major required them to enroll in a horrible class called Organic and Biochemistry. 

And they became lab partners. 

Who made soap that crumbled like crazy. 

Their names were Tiffany and Betsy.

Fast forward 1 year. 

Tiffany and Betsy move in next door to each other. 

And spend their time doing things like this.

Then Tiffany gets set up on a Gyrad (get your roommate a date) with Jared. 

And they fall in love. 

A year later they have the most beautiful OC wedding.  

I wasn't a believer in the coral/aqua color scheme. 

I was so, so wrong. 

I had the honor of being in this wonderful couple's wedding. 

Seriously an HONOR. 

Fast forward another 2 years. 

To October 31, 2011.

Yup, just 8 days ago.

Tiff and I spend a wonderful Halloween evening together doing something we both love - crafting. 

And eating, of course. 

Those holiday sugar cookies are my favorite. 

We answered the door for the trick or treaters and gave them what candy we hadn't already eaten. 

One little three year old boy was dressed up like Peter Rabbit, and recited some of the book to us! 

It was probably the cutest thing I've ever seen.

I would have taken a picture, except his parents probably would've thought i was a pedophile.

Tiff, you inspire me.

I love you, my sweet friend.

Cari's Around-the-Clock Bridal Shower

A few weeks ago I hosted a bridal shower for my beautiful friend Cari, who gets married in just TWO WEEKS!  

We've been friends since we were 14. 

I can't believe that was NINE years ago. 

And I can't believe she's getting married.

Kim and I are both in the wedding. 

She's a killer bridesmaid.

I'm working on my MOH (maid of honor) skills. 

She flew in for the shower. 

We <3 John Wayne Airport. 

And I chauffeured, as usual. 

We kind of have a system down. 

Which didn't include Kim's plane coming from Chicago and needing to be deiced OR my car getting it's 4th flat tire of the year. 

But Mable the Sable, my roommate Emily's car, came to the rescue yet again!

Thankfully I had plenty of help to get things ready, since I tend to plan high maintenance events.  

 My housemate Amanda helped frost clock cookies.

My housemates are bomb.com.

You can read our house blog here. 

Besides running a little late with the food preparation, everything went off without a hitch! 

Since it was an around-the-clock shower, I did breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert foods.  

Emphasis on the desserts, of course. 

 Kim made her baked brie. It's my FAVORITE. 

I made almond cupcakes, noir bars, and whoopie pies for desert. 

The whoopie pies were pretty gross. 

I don't recommend those whoopie pie kits.

Even if they are from World Market, which, in my eyes, can do no wrong.

But the noir bars and almond cupcakes made up for it.

These girls are wonderful friends. 

I love the unspoken understanding that comes with years of friendship. 

A day spent celebrating a dear friend is a day well spent. 

Announcing....

A few weeks back I announced that I was looking for a new organization for my etsy shop to support.  

I got some wonderful suggestions, and really enjoyed finding out what people are passionate about. 

I even made a new friend, Annie, who is nine months into the process of starting an incredible non-profit called Abundant Harvest.

She's an incredible, strong, visionary woman who is insanely passionate about seeing orphans find families.

Check out their newly launched web site here.

Even though it may or may not be a huge amount of money that will be going to the organization I chose, I really wanted it to be something I had prayed about and felt was where the Lord wanted the money to go. 

Which is why it's been a few weeks with no announcement.  

However, today, I am excited to tell you all that I have found the organization!

Drum roll please......

All profits from etsybybetsy will now be going to The Dave Thomas Foundation!

After watching this video I was sold.
I may have cried.

It's exciting and encouraging to see people making a difference in the lives of orphans in our own country, who may have their physical needs met in foster care, but never are able to have the emotional security of being adopted by a loving family.  

Check out their website here.

They have a lot of cool resources.

Thanks to those of you who commented and emailed with suggestions, I had a blast looking at all the amazing organizations you sent my way!

Keep checking out etsybybetsy for more new products, coming soon!

(Christmas line to be released 11/9/11)

Patient Stories Series #2: Her story

 I love that the Bible says that God knows our names.

In healthcare people so easily become defined by their diagnosis, their room number or their situation.

But there’s something so personal, so intimate, so human about calling a person by their name.

I don’t know this woman's name, and I’m sure I never will.

But her life had an effect on mine that can't be erased or ignored.

  

Stories like these I often feel awkward or uncomfortable sharing, because it’s easy for stories like this to become all about the shock value, and that is not my desire.

It’s also not my desire for you to read this and think how strong, brave or great I am, because, trust me, in situations like the one I’m about to tell you, I’d go running if I was leaning on my own strength or bravery.

  

I share this story because I want you to understand the deep, intense effect it had on me. For me, stories that carry so much emotion are often expressed better through writing, allowing you to picture for yourself what the experience was like.

It was at the hospital in Rwanda, where God has done some of his best and most terrifying work on me. One of our last mornings at the hospital, I saw a woman being carried into the surgery area.  I left morning report and went to the wound care room (now functioning as an ER).  Lying on the table was a woman, face covered in dried blood, but otherwise seemingly uninjured.  There was a laceration on her head about 2 inches long, which was not actively bleeding. She was combative, fighting against us and we struggled to help her, so we held her down while one of the nurses shaved her head, and one of the nursing students, Bernard, started an IV. Bernard translated for me as her story was explained and we worked to clean the blood off her face.

He told me that this woman had been hit by her husband, because he caught another man trying to have sex with her.  The husband claimed he was trying to hit the man with a stick, and accidently struck his wife instead.  He had hit her at 11pm the night before, and they were just bringing her in at 7am.

The nurse began to clean the wound as we continued to hold her down, and we quickly realized this was not just a cut on her head.  Her skull had been fractured, some of the bone fragments were likely going into her brain, and as the bleeding began again she started to go into shock.  The surgeon had been called and we were just waiting for him to come and tell us what to do.

What I initially thought was just another patient to stitch up and send out, I quickly realized was so much more.  Bernard told me the doctors didn’t think she was going to make it, but that they wanted to transfer her to the hospital in Kigali, the capital, which is a 3 hour drive on windy, pot-hole plagued roads.  As the gravity of the situation seeped in, my focus quickly turned from her physical condition to the condition of her soul, and my prayers of “help this woman, show us what to do” became frantic pleas for her salvation. 

Still holding her hand, looking into her eyes as she came in and out of consciousness, I wished I was fluent in Kinyarwanda or that telepathy actually worked!  I prayed for a lull in the streams of doctors to be able to say something, anything to communicate to her God’s love and her need for salvation.  My prayers were answered and I was able to kneel down next to her and whisper a prayer in Kinyarwanda, literally the only words I knew how to say.  I don’t know if she even heard or was able to understand my horrible pronunciation. Most times when I pray for patients in Kinyarwada they try to hold in their giggles as they listen to me struggle though.

It was in that moment I realized the depth of my reliance on God, whether or not I am aware of it.  I was helpless to do anything to save that woman, both physically and spiritually.  I couldn’t even communicate the gospel to her.  All I could do was hold her hand, look into her eyes, and beg the Lord to reveal Himself to her.  I don’t know whether she even lived through the drive to Kigali.

I’ve heard it said that compassion is entering into another’s suffering, but that is much more difficult than it sounds.  Because entering into someone’s suffering isn’t about the result.  It’s not about what you can do for them, or how you can meet their needs.  It’s about being present, about coming along side them and feeling the depth of their brokenness and pain.  Jesus saw people’s pain and entered into it.  Through my brief interaction with this woman, God taught me to love, and to show compassion without focusing on the results. 

I was also reminded of how much more important spiritual healing is than physical healing. When it came down to life or death, my priority was much rather to have her come to know Jesus than gain a few more hours or days on this earth. 

Stories like hers are what keeps me in nursing.

Stories that break your heart, but force you to rely completely on God and give you the opportunity to try your hardest to pray someone into His arms. 


I rest in the fact that God knows her name.  
And regardless of what I was or was not able to communicate, regardless of if she survived the ride to Kigali, her present and future are in His hands. 

But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine."

Isaiah 43:1

Looking for a Cause

I started etsybybetsy this past spring.

The shop was a means of fundraising for my trip to Cambodia in July.

And it was fun!

It gave me an excuse to spend money and time creating things I love. 

I was able to raise over $700 in less than 3 months that helped send me to beautiful Cambodia:

Now that I'm back, I want to continue making and selling items from etsybybetsy... but I want the shop to continue how it started - supporting a cause. 

That's where you come in. 

I need a new cause. 

100% of the profits from my etsy will go to whatever cause I choose.

And I can't choose a cause unless I know about it, so help a sister out!

I’ll be rolling out some new lines in the coming months as well as adding to the nail art line that's currently listed on the shop.

If you have a cause or know of any missions organizations, orphanages, charity programs, or whatever,  that could use support, let me know!

Comment on this post, or email me at betsy.still@gmail.com.

I will be making my decision by October 8^th, so please, comment away!

And remember to check back at www.itsetsybybetsy.etsy.com for what's new!