A Prayer for Keeping Our Amazement

“Hearing this, Jesus was amazed and said to those following him, ‘I assure you: I have not found anyone in Israel with so great a faith!’”

Matthew 8:10

Gracious Father, this verse stopped me in my tracks.  I find it unbelievable that Jesus was amazed.  And amazed by what?  By a man's faith. How can the God of the universe, the creator of all things, be amazed by his own creature? If I were Jesus I’d think, "Finally, someone gets it!  It's about time!"

But Your word says that Jesus was amazed.  Abba, its so easy for me to become calloused. In my job, in my interactions with people, without realizing it I become numb and lose the capacity to be amazed.  In an often subconscious effort to be unaffected and unimpressed, I often find myself thinking "I've seen worse" or "that could have been done better." I confess that my heart you created to feel deep emotions often times barely skims the surface of those plummeting depths.  Theodore Roosevelt said, “comparison is the thief of joy.”  Similarly, it's comparison that is often the thief of our amazement and every other God-given emotion we are meant to experience and express.

The Jesus who wept over his friend Lazarus' death, and who moments later raised him from the dead (John 11:29-44), was amazed at this Centurion's faith. This is the Jesus we're called to emulate. Oh Lord, that we would fight to feel emotion like Jesus did. 

Father, in the morning, at midday and in the evening may we first and foremost direct our amazement toward you.  May we be amazed by your unfailing love, your abundant mercy, your matchless righteousness and selfless sacrifice.  As we move through our days, give us the eyes to see what amazes you - in people, in creation, and in whatever situations we may face. May the gospel-breathed life in our hearts allow us to plunge the expanse of emotion you've created us to live with. May our gospel-driven expressions of your heart point others to you, whether it be in weeping with a grieving friend or rejoicing in a small but significant accomplishment of a co-worker. So very amen I pray, in your matchless and magnificent name. 

Insta Friday: How is it February already?

I've been reading friends Insta Friday posts for months.

And every time, I think "man, those iphone camera's are LEGIT!"

I'm waiting for the iPhone 5. 

I know, it's going to be awhile. 

But I figure, why wait till the to share my insta photos, blurry-ness and all?

So bear with my Droid Incredible and I, here we go.

My friend Chelsea celebrated a birthday. 

She has X Box Kinect, which, honestly, I'd never heard of. 

But it's incredible. 

My life will never be the same.

 I start of my nights at work with pockets bulging with saline flushes, alcohol wipes, sissors, carpojex, pens, sharpies and who knows what else.

Long Beach Airport to SFO. 

Jet Blue.

Standard.

Watching Obama's State of the Union from 30,000 feet?  

Sure, since there's nothing else to do.

I brought home movies for my mom and I to watch while she was in hospital.

Don't worry, I ditched the cases, that would've taken up half my 42.6 lb suitcase.

Speciaty's may be one of the best cafe's on the planet. 

Getting to have lunch there with friend Kim while I was home was such a treat. 

So were the pepproncini's on my sandwich.

Toms has ballet flats? What?

On my way back to my LA home.
At the gate, I opened the gift my mom had given me (I may have jumped the gun - she told me to open it on the plane).

Christian and Reinna's wedding was last Saturday. 

After they ran down the aisle, the whole bridal ran back to the front and did a choreographed dance!

So cute and so unexpected!

They had an incredible dessert set up...

 s'mores to top off the evening...

And CHURROS for their favor!

I do love that the LA smogs gives us such beautiful sunsets

These are our lockers at work. 

Mine is way down at the bottom in the back corner.

73 degrees in february = perfect bike weather

In between night shifts you can find my door looking like this, just a friendly reminder to my housemates  to keep the volume down

Graham crackers and peanut butter - why have i never tried it before?

It's my new favorite work snack.

does insta friday include videos? 

if it doesn't, it should. 

i'm leaving you with a  little nugget from my talented roomies.
i love coming home to this.

sorry it's sideways... but it's really the audio that's important :).

linking up here for the first time:

two months

two months ago i was in the midst of my first night shift on my own.

i've never experienced anxiety like what i felt preparing to go in to work that night.

my heart beating a million miles a minute, palms sweating, eyes twitching, i went and faced my fears.

faced my fear that i might make a mistake that hurt, or worse, killed someone.

faced my fear that people might not trust me or think i'm a bad nurse.

i can't believe it's been two months.

it feels like an eternity and just yesterday all at the same time.

i can't believe how much i've learned, and how much i still don't know.

i can't believe how many patients i've cared for, and had impact on, whether good or bad, in just two months.

this job has forced me to face so many of my fears.

fear of failure.

fear of mans' opinion.

mistakes are inevitable.

i've made more in the last two months than i can count, some bigger than others.

some more anxiety producing than others.

but He is growing me.

through the anxiety, pain and hardship i pray i'm becoming more like Jesus.

i'm so thankful for God's faithfulness through these two months.

i'm thankful for peace in the midst of anxiety.

i'm thankful for strength to persevere and continue to step out in faith.

i'm thankful for the humility He is cultivating in me as i make mistakes and become increasingly aware of my shortcomings and dependence on Him. 

praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Craving the Crafty

I went home to San Francisco for Christmas. It was wonderful.And cold. And far too short. 

I drove back wednesday night, along with my recently married friends Cari and Jordan. Thursday night I began working a string of 4 night shifts in a row. Yowza. 
I never even unpacked (still haven't actually) - all I did was sleep, eat and work for 4 days. So you'd THINK when I was done I'd want to clean and organize my life.You'd think. 
But Pinterest strikes again. 
This was my to do and errand list for Tuesday. 

On the back were my Michael's, Joanne's and Walmart craft lists. I'd gone thru my "just do it {yourself}" board on pinterest and picked out some projects I'd been wanting to try. I came home three hours later with the loot.

I was able to complete 4 of the ideas on my list (well, 4 pins, 3 projects... you'll see).And I also dyed a bunch of old shirts I had for another project I'll finish later.
 I started with making handsoap. I know, not that exciting. But VERY practical. 

I used a fun scented bar of soap I found at Walmart, and only did a half batch due to my lack of an empty gallon storage container.

It's kind of hard to show you a picture of the finished product, given my soap dispenser is made of wood and distinctly UN-see-through.  But, trust me, it's very soapy and almost the perfect consistency. 

Next, I got to work making some chalk paint. 

So. Easy. 

My favorite kind of DIY.

I wanted to paint a plaque to put on my door, so I can let my roommates know when I'm sleeping. 

You know, so they don't vacuum at 3pm while I'm trying to catch some shut eye before I go to work.

I saw this idea pinned for the top of a cookie tin and thought it was darling!

So I made my own version.

Third/fourth (third project, fourth pin), and probably my favorite, I decided to take part in the crayon melting pandamonium that has taken over pinterest.Better late than never, right?

I tried to come up with an original idea. And couldn't think of anything. So I did a slightly modified rainbow.

The most difficult part was that I had decided I didn't want to glue the crayons to the board I was doing it on. 
This was my ridiculous set up.

I HIGHLY recommend using s defuser if you try this. Those crayons splatter all over otherwise, even on low power.

I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out. 

Now I just have to figure out what to do with it.

Oh yes.... and one more pinterest inspired craft from earlier this month.
My parents gave me a sewing machine for Christmas (YESSSSS!!!!). I'd brought fabric home, hoping they would get one for me. So Christmas night, I used this pin as inspiration: 

to make this scarf:

Kim, Marge and I had an adventure day in Sausalito the day after Christmas, and I wore that newly sewn scarf with pride (did I mention it took about 7 minutes to make???). 

Someone who took these artsy photos may even have gotten a forest green one for Christmas <3.

Welp, I'm exhausted, and you probably are too if you actually go this far in my horrifically long post. 
It's 2am, and I still have a pile of crafts waiting to be done tomorrow, and a whole house to clean while all my housemates are still away! This working girl's got some sleep to catch up on!
Linking up here:

A Cantina Christmas

This past weekend at the Cantina we threw a little Christmas shindig. 

Inspired by J.Beib's song "mistletoe," of course.
If you haven't heard it, hurry up already!

Naturally we made a video invitation.
Because we're just that dedicated to spreading the Beiber cheer.

We filmed it on a whim right after our house thanksgiving dinner.

And we've probably watched it a million times since.

We're our own biggest fans.
Someone's gotta be.

Please notice the part at approximately 36 seconds where I DON'T fall.

Ya, I know. 

Awesome. 

We spent most of Saturday decking our halls. 

And by most of the day, I mean after 2pm, when I woke up after working the night before.

Our party was complete with a hot cocoa bar, a cookie decorating table, s'more station outside by the bonfire, photobooth and Christmas Kareoke.  

And after I burnt the first 2 gallons of milk, the hot cocoa turned out pretty great. 

Although that pot will never be the same.

Unfortunately, my camera was being utilized by the photo booth, so I really wasn't able to take many other pictures. 

But, don't worry, I have 260 photo booth pics for your viewing pleasure. 

since we used the song "mistletoe" for the invitation, we made sure to have plenty of mistletoe on hand (including an awesome mistletoe headband i found in the dollar section at target).
unfortunately (or fortunately?) the only people taking advantage of it were those two crazies on the left up there.
ya, those are my life group leaders.

That's just a little teaser :).

Head over to facebook if you want to see 186 more.

I have to admit I have an obsession with photo booths. 

Especially the one at Musee Mecanique right next to Pier 39 in San Francisco. 

I make sure to take everyone I can to that photo booth.

Speaking of, does anyone have any great ideas for how to display photo strips?

I'm on a quest for a home for the stack of photo booth strips in a basket on my shelf. 

They're so pretty. 

thankful

i'm thankful for a job that's enabling me to pay back my student loans quickly and is constantly challenging me and causing me to fall at God's feet asking for help

i'm thankful for a community of friends, family, brothers and sisters spread all over the world who are constantly encouraging me and pointing me towards the Author and Perfecter of my faith

i'm thankful for families who have opened their lives to me, invited me in, and have become like family to me

i'm thankful for His mercies that are new every morning, because man do I need them every day

i'm thankful for a house full of women who are seeking the Lord and doing life together

i'm thankful for small glimpses of who I would be without Jesus, and that He has graciously kept me from experiencing the depths of where I would be without Him

i'm thankful for the roof over my head, the food i'm always able to consume, the clean water at my fingertips, the car that gets me wherever i need to go, the gel, mousse and hairspray that tame my crazy mane, and the heater that keeps our home a comfy 68 degrees

i'm thankful for the ability to write, to record my thoughts and prayers so i can look back and see proof of God's faithfulness

i'm thankful that this place that's not my home has begun to feel like home

i'm thankful for a mother who constantly lifts me up in prayer, a father who has provided for my every need and a brother who gives selflessly to serve the body of Christ

most of all, i'm thankful for the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ, without which I would have no hope and no salvation.

God is good.

a very cantina thanksgiving

This weekend my housemates and I made a Thanksgiving FEAST.  

Well, mostly my housemates did the cooking. 

I made green beans. 

Amanda and Emily cooked an AMAZING turkey.  

Seriously, they've got skills. 

They brined it and everything.

I didn't even know what brining was before this.

These women are such an incredible blessing in my life.
I love them all dearly.

And it was so fun to have a full thanksgiving dinner since I work on Thanksgiving this year!

Oh ya, and we listened to Christmas music all day.
We're moderately obsessed with Justin Beiber's song "Mistletoe."

More on that later. 

For now, I'll leave you with a taste of our Thanksgiving, courtesy of Gabby:

Happy Thanksgiving!